Nothing Is Real

I’m not sure if I’m awake or dreaming, I’m not sure if I’m actually speaking aloud, can anyone hear me?

I’m not sure what you said, the silence in my head is too loud. I’m not sure how I feel, at the moment I’m numb. No, you haven’t upset me, that would mean I cared, and to be frank, my mind has yet to comprehend you exist.

My mind has yet to comprehend you exist.

My mind has yet to comprehend I exist.

Am I real?

Is this real?

I bite my tongue and don’t feel the pain.

I hold my breath but never need the release.

I close my eyes and don’t ever want them to open.

I forget I need to pee because I just don’t feel it. I rarely eat, it’s not necessary. The doctors say I’m perfectly healthy, it’s all in my head.

It’s all in my head.

There’s NOTHING IN MY HEAD!!!

I’m screaming and no one can hear me.

I’m pleading for you to see me.

When you look into my eyes, who’s looking back?

Can you see me in here? Trapped in my own head?

I can’t breathe, I’m spinning and spinning.

My mind won’t shut off, I can’t make it stop.

I just want to curl in a ball and cry myself to sleep. But I don’t sleep.

And I’ve cried all the tears away.

And no drug in the world could ever make the hurt stop.

Can you hear me in here? Screaming for my life back? Begging for my release?

Let me out!!

Who am I?

Can you tell me?

Do you know who I am?