Just One More…

I’ve worked hard to get where I am now.

So many struggles I’ve overcome.

Here I am, happy as I’ve ever been,

Lonelier than I’d ever imagined.

Emptier than I ever knew possible.

I’ve finally found peace,

Or the most peace I’ll ever know.

And yet I still cry myself to sleep nightly.

I still daydream about what could’ve been.

I still wish things were different.

One more day.

One more obstacle.

One more fight.

Each day I tell myself, after this it will all be easier.

After this, it will all get better.

After this, I’ll finally be happy.

Just one more leap.

One more hurtle.

One more struggle.

But I know, as rationality has its way of interfering, I may never find happiness.

I may always suffer.

I may always hurt.

It is the parasite eating away at my brain every day, little by little.

And one day, maybe it will cease to hurt.

Because one day, I’ll finally be numb to it all.

One day.