Ramblings of A Romantic

I’m tripping and stumbling, and you effortlessly catch me as I fall.

I can’t catch my breath, but you fill me with life.

When my knees are weak, and my heart may give, you carry me through the rain. When words fail, and actions grow weak, still, I know you love me.

Just one look is all it takes, and I melt like snowfall on the first days of spring-

Hold me tight, and never let go. I close my eyes, praying it never ends.

I see you everywhere, feel where your hands held me, where your lips brushed.

I can smell you on me, a beautiful thing.

When it washes away, I try not to let my happiness go with it.

All night and day, I think of you.

I spend my waking hours trying to distract myself from the distance,

But no distance could cut the ties that bind us.

Soul to soul. Heart to heart.

They say things like God and Death are unexplainable, unimaginable, incomprehensible.

But they never mentioned this.

No one mentioned your stomach could turn at another’s gaze upon you.

Or that goosebumps could rise at the smallest of breaths.

Your eyes could close of their own accord, at the simplest of touches.

Or how you can completely lose control of yourself, and become one with another person.

How badly it aches when you’re apart-

Or that you’d give your own life, if it meant they could live theirs happily.

No one mentions the heartbreak in love.

To love someone completely is to give a part of yourself away.

And to be without that part of you, is unbearable.

It’s hard to comprehend someone can love your flaws. Your mistakes. Your vices and bad habits.

That real, unconditional love, exists. And coming to terms with the fact that you may be deserving of that love, is just as hard.

Learning that you may be just as perfect in their eyes, as they are in yours.

Learning to see yourself in a different light, from someone else’s perspective.

Love is when someone can read your every thought, just by looking into your eyes.

Love is when you can’t help but say those three words for the thousandth time this day.

Love is when you subconsciously yearn for their touch.

When you feel every minute that passes you by without them, but time is a blur when you’re together.

When five more minutes isn’t enough, but days apart is far too long.

When you no longer look up at the next stranger that glances your way,

Or crave the attention from those in your past.

When your heart no longer breaks over past mistakes and failures.

Love is all encompassing, all consuming.

It takes over your every thought and action. It taints your view and blinds you from the truth.

But it can also bring light and joy.

It can bring childlike giddiness and ‘make you squeak like a happy little creature’.

It can open your heart, soul, and mind, to things you’ve never thought before, questions you’ve never asked, views you’d never dared look from.

Love is many things. A gift, a miracle, a weapon, a curse. Love is heaven. Pure and blissfully sweet. Love is hell. Full of pain and hurt, misfortunes and shortcomings. Love is forgiving, but not forgetting. Letting go and learning to move on. To find light in the darkness, to smile through the heartache. To bring laughter, in place of tears. To bring joy, instead of anguish.

Love is learning you are enough. Love is knowing it will not be perfect. You will make mistakes, you will disagree and argue. But you will love unconditionally, despite it all.

I no longer hold my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop. For the first time in my life, I don’t care to know your flaws. I don’t care to know where you went wrong in the past. I don’t care to know where others have went wrong. Because, for the first time, I am confident.

You have the tongue of a serpent, velvety and smooth. Your every word lighting a fire in my heart, your hands adept at typing out those sweet nothings that speak directly to my soul.

And yet, it is your actions that draw me. The way you yearn for my touch as much, if not more, than I do yours.

The little things you remember, that are pointless and unimportant. And yet, you remember.

The small changes in my demeanor that you instantly pick up on, making sure you’re there to hold me up, should I fall.

How unafraid you are to show emotion and weakness. That is true strength, in my eyes.

You are the symbol of strength and confidence and self assuredness. You are a beacon of light and joy and positivity. You are the sunshine on an overcast day. I am confident that when, and if, you do prove yourself to be human- flawed and all, the pros will always outweigh the cons. And your actions will always prove stronger than words. And your words will always ring honest and true. And I will love you, despite any obstacles and obstructions.

My mind always aims to undermine and second guess me. Whispering threats and “what if’s?”

“What if you scare him away?”

“What if you’re moving too fast?”

“What if you’re just like the rest of them?”

It scares me. To know that I’ve already followed in footsteps that were laid out months and years before me. To know I’ve walked the same path as others. To know I’ve made the same choices as those who’ve wronged you.

But I remind myself that I would never, and could never, hurt you. That none of my actions nor words are ever aimed with malicious intent. I know that I would trade my life for yours in a heartbeat. I would fall on my knees and beg for your forgiveness. I know that you are it for me. And whatever it takes to keep you in my life, I am willing to do.

They say magic doesn’t exist, but I can’t explain this feeling any other way.

There aren’t enough words, in any language, to convey this heavy pressure that has sat on my chest since the day you walked into my life.

I love you.

I want you.

I’m yours.

For now, and for ever.